ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
I haven't been this unsober in a long time. I feel like I am observing myself. Like I am a test subject for alcohol. I wish my brain would shut up and let me be a normal drunk.
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
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