She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
Nope. She just screamed at me "YOU WERE A FAILED ABORTION" and "I'LL PUT ANTHRAX IN YOUR PILLOW YOU LITTLE FUCK". Best mother award ever
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
Randomize
