I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
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