Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
She threw her burger out the car window last night. My vegan neighbors were not pleased but I’m pretty sure I saw a for sale sign go up on their lawn so I owe her one.
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