I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
I'm at a first year old's birthday party and a midget dressed as a cop just showed up. Word is we're going to toss and bowl with him. Updates to come.
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
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