That's when you crack a 10am beer
In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
my taxi driver is listening to 50 shades of grey audiobook. this is uncomfortable.
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
Randomize
