you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
My bed smells like the plague
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
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