wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
