where am i from again
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
We are two peas in an std pod
I tried really hard to get you laid last night. And by that I mean I asked a bunch of dudes if they were top or bottom.
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
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