Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
Crop dusting thru forever 21
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
Randomize
