Drinking non-alcoholic beer is like going down on your cousin.
Sure it tastes the same, but it ain't right.
hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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