Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
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