There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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