Dear everyone that texted me last night wondering where i was. i ended up face down blacked up drunk before i made it to the party. My bad
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
you came in and threw goldfish on our blue carpet and screamed SWIM BITCHES and then made me drink a best friends potion with you
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
Randomize
