Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
Randomize
