I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
Randomize
