Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
forgot a fork. i am eating fettucini alfredo with a comb that i rinsed off the the bathroom sink. eating alone in my car. life doesn't get any sadder than this
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
Randomize
