He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
Woke up naked on a bed full of money, doughnuts, and keys that weren't mine. Unsent dick pick on phone, and cheap cigar butt on my pillow. Also...I maybe hotwired my car.
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
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