the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
Binging muscle relaxers because when ur 33 you can no longer SHAKE IT LIKE A POLAROID PICTURE for 2hrs w/o consequences. Fuck you, Age.
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
Randomize
