Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
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