I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
Im blasting "Fat Bottom Girls" as loud as humanely possible in attempts that old ladies doing water aerobics will take the hint and get the fuck out of the pool.
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
Randomize
