You're a womanizer and a bitch.
Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
they need to just BURY HIM!
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
Randomize
