This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
i dont even know how to be here
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
Randomize
