phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
Randomize
