I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
Dude, can't find my socks anywhere....
Yeah, you took a shit in the harbor off a wall, used them to wipe. I'm sure they're still on the beach somewhere if you really want them back
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
That moment half way through a run when you realize you have to take a giant shit. I was racing against my bowels that last mile. Now my sweat is suctioning my ass to this toilet seat. Enjoy that NSA.
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
Randomize
