I swear she didn't look like that last week.
Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
Randomize
