dude I went to cubs game with my mustache, aviators, and a hooded sweatshirt. Do you think it was irony or fate that there were four 17 year old girls in front of us?
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
I just stole a conducting baton from the chicago symphony orchestra... i have to stop drinking on weeknights
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
Using mass transit when I'm hungover makes me feel like I missed my calling as a serial killer
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
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