too bad you live with your parents still
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
The carpet cleaning people refuse to steam clean human feces. I'll call back later and blame it on the dog not you
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
Tell me why i have 60 matches in 72 hours on tinder. Can i sell my tinder account like people used to sell their myspace pages and tumblrs when they had a lot of followers? Is that a thing?
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
Randomize
