To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
Randomize
