I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
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