i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
The brides mom put a 6 year old in charge of me to make sure I don’t get too drunk before the wedding
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
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