Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
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