My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
Randomize