i just walked in on my sister drunkenly sobbing to sarah mclachlan. its time for an intervention.
didn't that happen to you last weekend?
shut up.
Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
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