Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
I just added a bunch of arbitrary options to my ouija board. Ghosts can now tell me "cheddar," "the homosexual agenda," "the whole foods vegan aisle," or "viable offspring"
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
That awkward moment when you were so fucking drunk lastnight that you and your fuck buddy wake up wearing eachother's clothing covered in hot cheetos with his cat curled up between your heads meowing. Thought you'd appreciate this moment with me.
Randomize
