Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
my boobs are a 3G dead zone. as soon as i take my phone out of my bra, it has a signal again.
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
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