do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
Randomize
