you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
Randomize
