mornings like this make me wish i was morman.
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
Randomize
