I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
headbutted the bartender, tried to bite the bouncer, and pissed on a cops shoes. and i still got laid. god, it's good to be home
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
The bartender gave me a roll of masking tape so I could tape my heels to my feet so I wouldn't lose them when i went drunk running later that night
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
Randomize
