Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
The only dream I remember having is one where my dad's sperm turned into baby hippos. Like, tiny baby hippos, pocket-sized. I am so fucked up.
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
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