last night i was so high that when a homeless person asked me for a dollar, i responded: dolla dolla bill ya'll.
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
Randomize
