The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
