I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
He called me from prison intake to wish me luck on my job interview. Somehow that's the most romantic thing that's ever happened to me.
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
Siri makes being stoned even easier. I don't even Have to type my texts myself
Though I typed a half of that one
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
Randomize