Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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