I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
THERE ARE LEGITLY 4 SEPARATE BITE MARKS ON MY DICK. WHAT. THE. FUCK.
Legitimately*
Go fuck yourself
no dude he sent me cemetery flowers, i know it. they are half dried out roses in the shape of a cross, seriously. and he is not religious. so he robbed a freaking grave site for me. am i like an accessory to grave robbing now??
damnit this is what you get for dating guys with neck tattoos
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