Just found out what was wrong with Esther. Turns out she's 33 and still not married. This explains everything.
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
Randomize
