I love black thongs
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
Dude. When are you coming home? I'm laying in bed watching the Grinch and trying to pet a cat that I'm not even sure exists.
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
Randomize
