@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
Randomize