C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
literally had 100 drinks last night.
I sat down with you and helped you write your will last night. I was THAT convinced that you weren't waking up.
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
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