The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
Randomize
