OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
A homeless guy wouldnt accept my granola bar because he didnt have any teeth. I think i win the prize for the ultimate rejection
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
My favorite part of you downing a fifth of fireball in my apartment by yourself is the shot glass in the sink. It's like you attempted moderation and were just like "Fuck this."
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
Randomize
