It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
So gin and wine won't be happening again
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
It's 1 AM and there's a guy outside my house belting out Bennie and The Jets. He stops in between verses to puke. I'm joining him.
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
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