I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
Randomize