All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
i just had sex bonerless
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
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