turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
Randomize
