You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
our cab driver is having phone sex.
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
Randomize
