i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
No more Irish car bombs ever.
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
It's 1 AM and there's a guy outside my house belting out Bennie and The Jets. He stops in between verses to puke. I'm joining him.
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize
