Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
they're like a gay fantastic four
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
Randomize
