Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
Randomize